I believe without a shadow of doubt that there is someone for every one and your dream girl is out there too. The Cleopatra to your Anthony, the Leia to your Han, the Mary Jane to your Peter Parker, the Selena Gomez to your Justin Beiber (just kidding).
But how to find her?
If you’re on a dating site, that’s a start. According to a study recently published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, over 1/3 of all marriages begin online. (Look at that, I have an actual factual statistic AND it’s cited.)
However, if your profile is giving off a bad impression, you’re not doing yourself any favors my friend. (Especially if it’s going for Schwartzenegger and it’s coming off sounding more like a muppet… Sorry, bad joke.)
I like to stick by the “golden rule” of online dating which is:
FIRST IMPRESSIONS ARE EVERYTHING
I can’t tell you all the guys’ profiles I skipped because of a bad picture. Am I shallow because I close them out before reading their time-crafted, heart-felt profiles? Maybe, a little. But you know what? It comes down to the economics of supply and demand. There’s always another guy’s profile to check because there are hundreds of thousands of them out there. Which is all the more reason why you need to make YOUR profile stand out.
#1 NO PHOTO
C’mon now… I dare you to find a faster way to tell me that you don’t care about meeting someone online. It gives off the impression that you either didn’t take the time to upload a picture when you decided to join or that you are so unsatisfied with your looks that you’d rather they just be a mystery until you meet the girl.
Ok, I understand the guys who want to meet girls who love them for who they are on the inside and not based on looks (trust me, girls want that too) but unless you plan on spending your entire relationship like Shia LeBeouf with a paper bag over your head, you NEED a picture.
#2 EVERY PICTURE IS TAKEN FROM 30 FEET AWAY and YOU’RE WEARING SUNGLASSES
Eiffel Tower, Colosseum, Sphinx, Taj Mahal, well, I can see you are quite the world traveler. It’s great that you’ve done so much in your life but if I wanted to see pictures of the world I’d pull out a Nat Geo.
I’m online because I want to see your FACE which is difficult to decipher from such a distance. Not only that, but you’re wearing sunglasses. Short of the paper bag, that might be the second best way to hide your features. Bottom line, don’t do it. One or maybe two world traveler pictures are fine, but you better have a nice close up as your primary.
#3 PICTURES WITH OTHER WOMEN
I don’t care if she’s your sister, your cousin, or your best “nothing-is-ever-going-to-happen-with-her-because-I’ve-known-her-my-whole-life-and-I-made-several-awkward-attempts-in-junior-high-and-have-been-rejected-too-many-times-to-count” friend. She’s hot and she’s got her arms around you. Looks to me like you’ve already got a woman in your life and aren’t in need of another.
This might come as a surprise to some of you, but I swear, this is what we women think when we see this picture. This picture MIGHT be ok if it’s buried toward the back of your allotted picture count, and it’s usually ok if the picture involves other family members as well. But if your main profile picture features you and one hottie looking quite happy together your profile is going to get overlooked.
#4 TOO MANY PICTURES OF DOGS
You can sub dogs for cats, birds, iguanas, whatever. It’s great that you have a pet. I’d like to see you and your best four-footed pal. But FIVE pictures of JUST your furry friend? One, MAYBE two pictures of your pet is acceptable, but we women folk would much rather see you in the picture as well. Two adorable creatures in the same picture are always better than one.
#5 OUT OF FOCUS PICTURE
Unless you’re just naturally blurry, post a picture where your facials features are actually distinguishable.
The art of having a good profile picture really shouldn’t be that difficult. As I mentioned in my previous post: Do’s and Don’ts of Dating Profiles, have a friend take a picture of you smiling your best smile (usually showing some teeth), in a place where you’re truly happy. Compile a few of these (5-8 at a minimum) in various scenarios with a variety of friends and you’re on your way to getting noticed. Just be sure that your best picture, your “headshot,” featuring you and ONLY you, is your primary photo.
You pair some stellar pictures with a sensibly written (I’m talking around 300 words or so) profile elaborating on your life, hobbies, hopes, dreams and ideal match and you’re bound to get some views, likes, stars, favorites, emails, winkies, or whatever method of telling you someone is interested. Best of luck out there Romeo.
Until next time, smile on,